Commission Info

Journal - PLEASE READ.

This was taken from my brother's blog - [link] .

By the way, my name is Heather, if you didn't know.

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"Adrienne (AJ) Devino – 3/31/07

Imagine the most horrible thing you can say to someone on April Fools’ Day, but were not really kidding about what you have said.

Today my siblings and I had heard that our cousin, Adrienne Devino (AJ as everyone called her), had died after a tubing accident on a school skiing trip. Even though she had been rushed to the hospital, she was gone by the time Uncle Ed and Aunt Linda could get by her side. She was only 18 years old, and had recently begun going to Northeastern University in Boston. She had a great spirit and a bright future ahead of her.

I remember getting the phone call while I was working. My little sister, Heather, told me to be sitting for the bad news, and that the news would be too cruel to be an April Fools’ joke.

“What’s it about?” I asked.

“Someone died,” she responded.

I figured it was my grandmother in New Jersey. I would have been hurting, but at least it made sense. When Heathy said, “Adrienne died,” I was in total shock. At first, I didn’t know how to respond. Everyone was sad, but no crying over the phone was heard, so I assumed they were all calming down or something. When I got off the phone though, I thought about it more, and it started to get to me.

Being surrounded by video games at work helped me take my mind off it for a little bit, but then I remembered when I would go with the family to visit the Devinos. They had the old Sega Genesis hooked up, with their copy of Sonic 2 still attached. Honestly, I think they still have that thing somewhere. I would play as Sonic, while Heathy and AJ took turns playing as Tails, both for fun and for destroying Robotnik to keep me alive (because Tails was invincible). I started to lose it at work, but was able to keep my cool for the guests coming into the store. Still, Kathy at the video store had Darrell send me home while Derek and Craig took over. Thank you guys again for understanding.

I had a long walk earlier today with company, and during that walk I got to reflect on the times our family got together to hang out. The Devinos are loud, like us, and we always had fun hanging out together. Big Ed, Linda, Brittany, Cassie, Little Ed, and (of course) AJ. AJ had a way of almost always being happy in any situation, or she did her best to at least make everyone else around her smile. She was always smiling. I can’t remember ever seeing her frown.

Our family recently went back to Vermont to visit my older sister, Valerie, who is still living up there (and is thankfully close enough to the cousins that she can be with them right now). At one point, we drove to the Devino house, unexpected by them, to see them all. They were all smiles and energetic to see us, we practically had a family party right on the spot at night. They asked how I was doing. AJ asked about the band I was in. Apparently, she had been following up on us through MySpace, and liked what she heard. I showed her the MoU website, which the whole family thought was cool. However, AJ was the one who had the most to say.

“I never expected you to be in a band, Cliff. You guys are awesome! I want to see you play with the band sometime!!” MoU, we’ve lost one of our best fans…

What hurt me the most about hearing the news was how I knew AJ’s relationship with our family, and with Heathy in particular. To Heathy, AJ was more than just a cousin, but her best friend. When we lived in Vermont, especially after our parents’ divorce, the two of them hung out whenever they could. It wasn’t very often, but considering the distance between our house and the Devino house, it was often enough. The two of them had connected well, almost like another sister. They represented, and still do represent, what it means to be family.

Heathy had been at mom’s house all day, so I waited for her to come home. At one point, I thought I heard her walk into her room, so I jumped out of bed to see her. When I opened the door, she wasn’t there. All I wanted to do was hug her and tell her it would be ok. Eventually, she did come home, but she seemed fine. I just assumed that, even though she was sad, she would keep herself strong and keep moving on.

She sent me a text message, wondering where I was. I had gone out, but when I asked why she wanted to know if I was home, she replied.

“I need a hug.”

I raced home, went into her room, and just saw the look on her face. That hurt, devastated look, as if someone had just ripped her apart and made her watch. I started to tell her how I wanted to give her a hug before, and how I waited most of the day for her to come home… I couldn’t even get the words completely out before I collapsed on her bed, and all we did was hold each other closely and sobbed. She tried to speak in between sobs, getting choked up to the point of almost not understanding her words, but they were still very clear to me…

“This isn’t fair… I was supposed to go visit her in two weeks… She’s gone, Cliffy… …Why? …Why did it have to be her? Why now? I missed her so much… all I wanted to do was see her again… and now I won’t get to…”

For those reading this post, do me a favor. Go to the people, friends and family, who you love, and let them know you love them. Give them a hug. Tell them you care. It’s easy to say, “Oh, I will never lose so-and-so,” but it can happen. For over a year, I expected to hear about my two friends at war in Afghanistan getting killed. One has returned home safely, and the other will be home soon. But, I never expected to hear about a younger cousin passing on from a recreational trip. It can happen to anyone, and just knowing that you had at least one more chance to tell them you love them is more than kind to do for the ones you love.

My family and I are still hurting from this loss. Even though we are far away and couldn’t see AJ often, we still looked forward to family get-togethers to see the family. The entire family. I still feel what the family is feeling, and just knowing our love for AJ and how crushed we are by all this… just thinking about all of it brings me to tears.

To the Devinos: we are still hurting in Connecticut. Our memories of AJ remind us of how wonderful she was and sadden us that we will never experience them again. Many of our friends have sent their prayers for you guys, and we send the best of wishes to you in coping with the loss. No matter how hard this hurts us, it cannot compare to the pain you must be suffering through right now.

To you, AJ: Heathy’s words are my own now. Why? Why did it have to be you, AJ? Why now?

Rest in peace, Adrienne… you were loved by many, and will be missed the same…"